Life is as simple as much as our thoughts about it are complex. These thoughts are shaped by the unknown element of something most commonly known as experience of the experienced but when u actually tread these waters u would come to make the stand that, the term is just plain simple excuse to appreciate failures and step ahead. Well this simple little complex prose explains my lack of experience doesn’t it? But I like it that way rather than be bogged down by something intangible.
To many a people these would seem words of a man lost at the game of life. Someone who is the kind of the ones claiming to be experienced and therefore spitting out apparent words of wisdom. But come to think of it, as a good friend of mine rightly said a vicious circle can only be broken by someone on the outside. The people in the circle are consumed by a phenomenon similar to integral windup. They get busy integrating zero even if they know the output is necessarily nothing. And yes in a way I am a person on the outside, but more importantly someone who has been once a part of the circle, and yes conveniently one whom I have branded as experienced.
So if you take these words as just a play of language conceived to no higher end then I would not blame you. But nonetheless I would like to put pen to paper and get flowing. Cause I am one of those kind who doesn’t really care what others think of him or his work as long as his heart is into it.
Yes, one more thing; this is by no means a work not fueled by selfishness. There is a bit of ‘ME’ involved in it and the only justification I have which may be lame to the wise is; it’s a way to know myself better. Why this is important is not the subject of the present but yes nonetheless I am someone who searches a mirror in everything I do or say or put pen to paper for. To me it is the only true form of learning because if anyone can know you better than you do, it is your reflection. It is the only mortal perception that is void of any falsehood.
So beginning at the very end, what I have understood; yes I give in that understanding is a lame excuse to hide the effect of the term experience which is by no means hidden, from my years thus far is that; what I have done and who I have been are responsible for my current being, but only what I am today influences who I may be in the future. So my future lives through my present but still intangible and if I transform to a tangible platform, it becomes uncontrollable through my present cause in that frame I brood on my past coming to realize I could be different. A lot of words on the surface but come to think it’s not all that far from reality.
I am sorry for this small detour but at this stage I personally think it is the right time to make some terminologies explicitly clear. The very first that needs some attention is something that just came up in that last paragraph where there were seemingly more words than probably in the entire Lord of the Rings series; ‘reality’. Reality is that tangible piece of truth that literally personifies the mirror which only reflects that what it sees. It hides well under the guise of a lot of garbage of words made up for that very purpose, but not well enough for the wise. This is now turning into an interesting string of thoughts. A clarification on the term ‘wise’ is not untimely as it may seem. And this is probably the first turn where opinions may differ between those following carefully. To me, yes making it explicitly clear, to me the wise man is one who fully understands the effect and importance of speech but more so to giving an ear before opening his own line of thought. That’s that as simple as one would say, my way of expressing something taken to be highly complex, sometimes so much that there are books written in a heap.
Now, getting back on track let us explore the so termed Kalman decomposition that I tried effecting on something thought to be as complex as the math of proving that one plus one is indeed two; life. And yes there is an attempt trying to prove seemingly obvious stuff which to some borders on insanity. But sometimes you have to patrol those borders ever vigilant of the thin line drawn on the canvas and then alone can you come in reach of the seemingly unreachable. And so as irrelevant as it may seem the Kalman decomposition attempted has something in it. You have to know that your future is not in your past but in your present, your present is however a function of the past to which it is the future to and still resist the temptation of switching to explore the past mode, continuing the journey onwards cause the ultimate reflection is that we are all on a one way track, and there is no turning back but still knowledge at large to learn from the past.
After reading these words, I would fully appreciate if one wrote me off as someone not to give a second thought to or someone who enjoys in writing it off at the beginning that life is as simple and then coming up with equivalent complexity in his thoughts that ponder on the other side of the equation. But like I said, my heart flowing out, I don’t care.